Stealing Popcorn
by The Marauders3
Summary: A hopefully funny tale of movies and popcorn and kissing oh my!


**Title:** Stealing Popcorn

**By:** dragoneye and ElizaDolittle

**Rating: T**

**Written Because:** Karlee and I were bored again, so we wrote a nonsense story about popcorn. Thanks to Kate for supplying the "popcorn" inspiration!

**Summary:** A hopefully funny tale of movies and popcorn and kissing (oh my!)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own The Princess Diaries; it belongs to Disney and Meg Cabot.

O

"Do Kate Winslet's eyebrows look funny to you?"

Clarisse rolled her eyes at her granddaughter's comment. She should have known better than to agree to yet another of Mia's movie nights; trying to watch a movie with the young woman making extraneous comments was extremely difficult. And the latest movie, the classic _Titanic_, was no different. She wouldn't bother answering her granddaughter. Apparently no one else would, either.

The dowager queen sighed and relaxed back into her chair, taking her husband Joseph's hand in hers and resting their entwined hands on the armrest. She had always liked a good romance movie, and Titanic was on her long list of them. Joseph, along with Nicholas and Shades, had griped about watching such a sappy film, but Mia and Charlotte had insisted.

"Maybe you'll get a few tips from Leonardo DiCaprio, Shades!" Charlotte had said. And Clarisse quite agreed, for Shades had an unfortunate habit of always putting his foot in his mouth. At the moment, however, he and Charlotte were snuggled up in the row behind Clarisse, Charlotte giggling at some remark Shades had made. Mia and Nicholas were in the row in front, munching happily away on the pear-flavored popcorn that Genovia was famous for. Well, Nicholas was, for Mia preferred the "normal" version, as she called it – loaded down with butter and salt. Clarisse shuddered at the thought. She, Joseph, Charlotte, and Nicholas, being the sensible ones, always ate the Genovian alternative, while Shades's favorite was kettle corn.

Taking her thoughts away from popcorn preferences, Clarisse returned her attention to the movie, but was distracted again by another of Mia's comments:

"Leo DiCaprio is so dreamy…"

In the back, Charlotte sighed happily and voiced her approval with an "mm-hmm!" followed by a "hey!" as Shades threw a piece of popcorn at her.

"You're not saying that little wimp is 'dreamy', are you?" he said indignantly.

Charlotte merely gaped at him, but Mia threw a piece of popcorn that hit Shades in the middle of his forehead.

"What was that for?" he asked, picking the kernel up from where it had fallen in his lap and offering it to Charlotte (who refused).

"_Never_ insult Leo DiCaprio in front of me." With a huff, the young queen turned back to the movie.

Clarisse sighed before resuming watching the movie, but she tilted her head back and groaned in exasperation when she heard a commotion from Charlotte and Shades behind her. Joseph raised his eyebrows at her, and they both turned around to see what the fuss was.

"Stop it, Shades, stop!" Charlotte was giggling while Shades pelted her with popcorn. She was cowering from the never-ending storm of kernels when one fell into the row in front, landing squarely on Clarisse's head.

Shades froze, arm poised to throw a piece of corn. Charlotte gaped, her face going pale. Mia and Nicholas turned around, Mia covering her open mouth with her hand. Joseph stared warily at his wife. Clarisse merely sat there with popcorn on her head.

After a pregnant pause, Clarisse shook the popcorn off her head and caught it in her hand. She looked at it for a moment, then calmly tossed it at Shades. It hit him on the nose.

Catching the shocked look on her Head of Security's face, Clarisse smiled slightly. "Popcorn?" she said, in a slightly teasing tone.

"Popcorn fight!" Mia suddenly yelled, standing up and stealing a handful of her husband's popcorn (which earned her a reproving look) and throwing it into the rows behind her. The corn scattered over the four people sitting there.

Shades immediately stood up and started chucking popcorn at everyone, while Charlotte tried unsuccessfully to suppress her laugh. Mia let out a war whoop and climbed on her chair for a better shot at Joseph, who merely caught the piece she threw in his mouth.

Clarisse shook her head at her granddaughter's antics and caught her husband's hand. She pulled him away from the midst of the popcorn fight and led him outside the movie room.

"I can think of a much better way to occupy our time," she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Joseph merely grinned.

Back in the movie room, Charlotte was trying desperately to stop Shades from pelting his queen with kettle corn. Mia didn't seem too perturbed by his onslaught, though, as she was rather busy dumping the entire contents of her popcorn bowl over her husband's head. Laughing, Nicholas started towards her with his own bowl raised and ready to be thrown in her face. The young queen squealed as Nicholas got closer, then darted around him and out the door. He followed, and their laughs were heard as they chased each other down the hall.

Shades stopped reaching for more corn long enough to realize that he and Charlotte were alone in the room. "Now what?" he said, looking rather disappointed that the fight was over.

"I don't know," Charlotte said, bemusedly picking a piece of popcorn out of his hair. "What do you want to do?"

"Look," Shades said, pointing to the movie screen, where Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet were kissing passionately. "We could… y'know… do… that…"

Charlotte smiled at his awkwardness, but decided not to tease him about it. "Okay," she said simply, and moved into his arms.

O

Mia had run out of popcorn to throw at Nicholas, so she returned to the movie room to retrieve some. What she didn't realize was that the room was occupied by two kissing couples: the one on screen and the one on the floor. The couple on the floor were crushing pieces of popcorn as they rolled about, kissing passionately. Mia's face distorted into a grimace as Charlotte started fumbling with the buttons on Shade's shirt. Forgetting her popcorn mission entirely, Mia ran out of the room and knocked into her husband.

"What's wrong?" he asked, catching the look on her face. Mia was speechless; she merely gestured to the partially opened door of the movie room. Nicholas poked his head in and immediately withdrew it. "Oh my god," he said. "Oh my god."

Mia merely shook her head, wide-eyed in disbelief.

THE END

If you leave a review, you get a popcorn fight with the man of your choice: Joe, Shades, or Leo DiCaprio!


End file.
